Everything but
Matte visited from Bradford today. We hung out on my bed. We snuck sneaky kisses in the lift and on benches and in my bedside chair. We talked and talked. We had an abortive game of chess and I thrashed her at Connect-4. I read her the beginning of Sarah Waters’s latest book. We went to the noodle bar around the corner and ate delicious veggie yaki soba and banana fritters and on the way back, Drippy the drip got a bit agitated with all the walking and decided to have a freak-out so we returned to base and the nurse switched him off and on again and we went back downstairs and sat in the park.
I got hooked up to Monty the heart monitor, a little box with wires running to my chest that I carry around with me. I resisted the urge to pull Matte into the bathroom and push her up against the wall and put my hand in her underwear and fuck her until she sighed in my ear.
I have been in hospital for almost four weeks. The doctors are still deciding what my treatment should be. I feel desperate.